


MCYT Oneshots

by chill3ss



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Blood and Gore, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Gore, Heavy Angst, M/M, Multi, Other, Sleepy Bois Inc Angst, Sleepy Bois Inc Fluff, Sleepy Bois Inc-centric
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 09:47:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 16,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29774316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chill3ss/pseuds/chill3ss
Summary: MCYT one-shots![_REQUESTS CLOSED_]I'll basically do anything as long as the cc's is okay with it!I won't be doing any smut shots, don't really have anything against it. I just can't write it, sorry.It will mostly be sleepybois inc. Oneshots, mostly cause I know the most about them. I don't mind doing another mcyts though!Keep in mind, a lot of it is going to be angst. Just because I am better at writing it, but it won't stop me from writing platonic stuff.**Cross posted with wattpad and Inkett under the same user as 'chill3ss'**
Relationships: Clay | Dream & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/Wilbur Soot, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson
Comments: 3
Kudos: 18





	1. Chapter 1

(Cross posed with wattpad and linkett! Under the user 'chill3ss'!)

**don't repost my writing!**

Hello! I am Tye, the dumb author who really likes writing for some reason.   
You can refer to me as Tye! Or just author, but I dont really care. 

I just wanted to say, this book will contain [probably] a lot of angst. I'll warn you before each chapter the triggers! 

Just a heads up, I mainly write in first person. I'll obviously let you know if I decide to change pov, but unless I say so the chapters are in first person pov.

I use a lot of profanity, mainly cause that's just me, and if the cc curses a lot.  
[In the oneshot]   
So don't mind me swearing a lot :)

Here's stuff I'll do.. cause that's important:   
______  
Angst  
Platonic friendships  
Ships   
Dumb crackfics [only if you request it]  
Family au's  
Sleepybois  
Dream team  
..anyone really on the smp, only if they are okay with being   
Any mcyt really  
Real minecraft au's  
Any kind of au really   
————

Stuff I won't do:  
_______  
Smut [kinda wanting to do a little bit of smut, but probably won't]   
^^ so that was a lie 

Shipping of minors/anyone uncomfortable with it  
X readers  
I think that's it  
————  
Listen here because its important..

I will NOT ship tommy x tubbo, or any fucking minors. DO NOT ASK. If you do ship that kind of stuff, please leave.   
Tommy doesn't like any nsfw, or any platonic shipping. He as stated MUTIPLE time that he is uncomfortable with it and has asked people to stop that. 

Even if tubbo has said [i am not completely sure on this, I only heard it from another person] that he doesn't care if people ship him point still stand, I won't do it.

That being said, I will also not ship anyone that hasn't said its okay. I will NOT cross the cc's boundaries. 

Okay got that out the way. 

I will have a request page, please only request there. I'm trying to keep it organized so I can easily go back to it so I can do requests.

I'll tag you and give you credit if you request something. 

[Doesn't apply for anonymous people, ill just say it was requested by someone anonymous. I can also just say it wasn't requested if you find that better.]

These chapters aren't [probably] going to be that serious, mostly 500-1000 words. This is mostly for my entertainment :)  
In all honesty this is just a side project. 

Most of my chapters are very disturbing, like a lot of angst and gore stuff. So if you're here for fluff.. uh expect that like once every blue moon. [Dont worry cause I still kind of have to write fluff so my writing isn't permanently angsty.] 

This is a safe fucking space for almost every one to be welcome to comment. I don't want to see any hate towards people, unless they are being weirdchamp. I think you know by what I mean.. 

I dont care where you came from, what you identify with. You always fucking welcome here. 

Criticism is always welcome!


	2. !!𝑹𝒆𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝑷𝒂𝒈𝒆!!

REQUEST CLOSED!

This is where you can request! Please make sure you read the "uhh hi!" Chapter. There is where you can see what I'm comfortable and not comfortable with.

Again, I won't ship minors. I hope this will be the last time I have to mention this.


	3. 𝐁𝐫𝐮𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐤𝐧𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐥𝐞𝐬

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Dream throws Tommy in an obsidian room, knowing about his claustrophobia.

Tw: manipulation, gore, panic attack, and claustrophobia   
Ship: none  
Request: nope  
==========

Tommy's pov:

"Dream?" I huffed as a masked man walked closer to me. Stepping backwards a few tims to build distance.

"Tommy.. you betrayed me, you.. you went against my orders. Tommy I tried so hard to give you what best.." sadness filled his voice,

One step infront of the other. 

One step back behind the other. 

"Listen big m- man be can talk about this" my back hit the base of a oak tree, stopping me from stepping back any farther. 

My eyes started to dart around my surroundings.. I have no real escape. Hands starts shaking as I tapped my foot against the ground lightly. I was absolutely terrified of what was going to happen next. 

He stepped infront of me, leaving a small gap between our chest. 

"Tommy.. you know there has to be a consequence" he sounded sad, like he didn't want this to happen. 

Sweat ran down my forehead. 

"I found the chest Tommy, why do you want to leave me?"

"I want to go back home Dream! I want to go back!"

"You can't Tommy, im the only reason you're still alive! Be grateful.."

He raised his axe to my neck, purple and a small amount of glittery dust radiated off the axe. My nails dug into the bark behind me.

He quickly grasped the back of my shirt making me flinch away slightly.

I know where I'm going.. it happens everytime I 'act up'. Dragging me along the dirt path we reached a particular location, "Dream please im sorry" that was the last thing I said as he threw me into a 4×4 obsidian room. 

I panicked as the iron door shut loudly behind me. Dropping to my knees, I accepted my fate.

==========

I grunted as I punched the obsidian block for the hundredth time, wincing as I looked down to my knuckles.

They're bruised and bloody.

I scrapped the skin off my knuckles pretty fast, it hurt. A red thick liquid flowed down my hands. I whipped it on my stained, white shirt and started to kick the obsidian.

It's no use

I'm stuck 

I cant get out

I want out

"DREAM IM SORRY" I yelled at the top of my lungs, if he was even there I knew he could hear me. I slid down the rocky block and sighed. I shut my eyes tightly, the walls are starting to close in. 

I shoved myself into the corner as I put my hands on the sides of my head, tears started to drip down my cheeks. My throat started to close in as my knees started to feel weak. 

Choking out a broken sob, my breath hitched at the dark room loomed over me. I need to get out. 

Curling myself up into my safely ball, I sobbed. "Dr- dream please.." 

"LE- LET ME OUT!"

My knuckles gave out, blood flowing down my hands. Drip by drip. As the clock of never ending ticked slowly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know of any spelling/grammar mistakes!


	4. "𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Tommy and Techno get caught trying to steal.

Tw: none  
Ship: none  
Request: nope   
==========

Tommy's pov:

I stood behind Technoblade as we ran from erets castle. It was unlike Techno to run out of supplies so quickly. We did what needed to be done.

"Techno we're out of invis pots.. and gapples.." I shuffled through the chest quickly. Where is everything? It was all here yesterday?

"What do you mean? Bruhh I made a new stack of gapples yesterday.." he rolled his eyes and started going through the valuables chest. I assume to find materials to make more stuff. I watched as his expression changed from pretty monotone, to confusion. 

He burrowed his eyebrows and looked over to me,   
"Tommy did you use all our gold..?" 

"No.. but all my stuff is gone, and so is yours!" I pointed to the empty chests. 

He looked around in confusion, I could tell the gears in his head were turning as he tried to work out what happened. There are absolutely no signs of any disturbance on the house, unless of course you don't count the stolen items. 

The only thing left in a chest was a piece of wool, 3 leather, and two stacks of dirt blocks. Literally nothing useful. All our hard work has gone to waste. All the hours I've spent mining diamonds, the amount of time he spent searching for netherite had all washed away. 

We have nothing.

No potions, no gear, I think you get the point.

We did have our armor, enchanted netherite armor. I had a pickaxe, all he had was a shove. Both are enchanted with netherite two, not too bad, with Technos past we could get all out stuff back. Even if it was by force. 

"What do we do..? The festival is in a few days. We are screwed" I mumbled quietly. My thoughts were running low, im hungry and the only other thing I have in my backpack was 2 pieces of bread. 

He sighed and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, he loomed over the chest that had two stacks of dirt. He took no time in opening the chest and handing me a stack while keeping one for himself. 

"Keep your inventory empty tommy, we are going to get out stuff back"

"..so do I throw away the pickaxe and dirt or–"

"No tommy no! I meant‐ ugh never mind"

I snickerd at that, I knew what he meant. 

I followed him quietly, I could tell he was absolutely pissed off. He probably thought that stealing from erets castle was a hassle, that he could be doing something else. Yet here we were, just now entering Dream smp. 

Since we didn't have any invis pots be just had to be silent as possible, I looked around and I didn't see anyone is the distance. Clear to go. I got out my pickaxe and right as I raised my arm to start mining into erets castle, Techno put a hand on my forearm alerting me to stop. 

I looked over at him and saw he had his long elf like ear pressed against the tall stone wall. He huffed as his sharp and cracked tusks made it sound pig like. Shaking his head he pointed at the wall, signaling me to do the same as him. 

With my ear pressed against the wall I heard eret, dream, and fundy. Discussing something that I could not understand.. something about.. my dics?!

Al of a sudden they stopped talking.. fundy being the last to mumble words as his voice died down. I noticed in the corner of my eyes the Technos ear twitched..

Shit.

They found us.

Hiding behind a pretty large tree, Technos cape hid me sort of well. His head slightly popping out from behind the tree. He saw Dream, Fundy, and Eret scattered around trying to find us. 

He sighed as he turned around to meet my eyes, "Whats our exit strategy?"

"Our what"

"Oh my god, we are going to die.."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know of any spelling/grammar mistakes!


	5. 𝐋𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐄𝐲𝐞𝐬

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Fundy tries to confront Ghostbur.

Tw: None  
Ship: none  
Request: nope  
==========

Ghostburs pov:

I roamed around l'manburg, my legs for some reason are transparent.

I can't remember..

Why can't I remember..

Feeling cold wind slowly pass through my body, it felt.. odd? I could only remember a few things, my family, eating pie around a table, Fundy.. I.. I dont know..

Slowly going up the wooden steps of a unfamiliar place, I saw.. Tubbo! And Fundy! Floating over to them,   
"Hi guys!"

I smiled at them, but they didn't give back the same expressions. Tubbos face looks pained, the left side of his face looks scared and fragile. Just knewly un-bandaged.

Fundy, he looked angry?

He looked mad at me, but tears weld in his eyes as he crossed his arms over his body. A looked down, white and brownish orange hair flopped over his forehead.. "Dad..?"

"Yeah fundy?" I said with a happy tone, why is everyone so sad?

"Why did you do it?" Pain laced his voice as he slowly looked up again, tears running down his face. 

I tilted my head, I didn't do anything. I just woke up! I dont remember anything from yesterday or any days before.. at least I dont think I did any thing. The last thing I remembered was Phil, but that didn't feel me. I feel like a separate person..?

"What do you mean Fundy? Tubbo? Guys I think you're confused, come on let's go over here i found something coo–" 

"Dont try and change the subject wilbur, you hurt us. You betrayed us, why did you do it!?" 

Fundys lifeless eyes stared into my soul,   
"You have no idea what you did, do you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know of any spelling/grammar mistakes!


	6. 𝐆𝐨𝐝𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which George meets a strange man after losing his date to prom.

Tw: none  
Ship: Dreamnotfound  
Request: nope  
==========

George's pov:

I dusted off the lint of my suit for what felt like the 50th time. Where's a fairy godmother when you need one? 

Prom had already started and I look like rubbish.

My date had ditched me for some other guys, I don't blame her. Taking one look at me you'd think.. somethings. 

Sitting on a bench, I had left the inside of the building. Nothing that important to do in there anyways. It was all loud, bright, and annoying seeing all the happy people dancing. 

Selfish on my part, I know. 

Sighing as I rested my arms on my knees, I let my hair undo itself from its slicked back gell form. I stared at the concrete below me as I just contemplating why I ever even left my room. Its not like I can just call my mom and tell her to pick me up, she thinks I'm having the time of my life. So like any other person would do, I got up and started to wonder around town to pass the time.

It wasn't too strange to see a man in a suite walking down the sidewalks in London. 

No one was even out this late at night, its like 11:30 pm or something. I entered a vintage book store, it smelt amazing. If only I could see as good. Non the less I just roamed around, I saw a couple books that interest me but decided to leave them untouched. I dont even think I have money on me right now. 

Time passed as I slowly walked around the small shop, it wasn't too big but it wasn't cramped either. 11:58.. I should get going. Prom ends around 12 so I'm expected to he back soon. 

Waving at the worker goodbye, I walked out with my head hung low. It wasn't fair to me, non of this was. If only my godmother would appear and grant me a wish. 

Taking a left to walk home, I notice a man with a suite on. It was clean and looks new. It was a little odd how he just stood there, watching me walk. As I walked closer to him he held out his hand. Just now noticing he had a white mask on with a uneven smiley face. I stopped dead in my tracks as I raised an eyebrow and held a confused face.

At the strike of twelve, my godmother didn't appear, but a masked gentleman did. And with a gesture of his hand he asked,  
"Would you like to dance, my prince"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know of any spelling/grammar mistakes!


	7. "𝐈 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥.."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ranboos voices become too much.

Tw: voices, panic attack, Derealization  
Ship: nope  
Requested: idkwattohaveasmyname  
[On wattpad]  
==========

Ranboo's pov:

"You blew up the community house, it's all your fault.."

"Ranboo.. but I'm not even real.."

I woke up in sweat, my eyes squinted as I tried to focuse my sight. My bed sheets thrown around and on the floor, dreams voice rang through my head as I sat up. 

Looking around I decide it's time I get up, stretching out my back i start to walk to my bathroom. Living by myself sucks.. but what am I gonna do? Nothing, no one would really want to live with me anyways. 

Finally reaching for the doorknob to open the door, I walk in and stand at my sink counter. My hair all messed up, shirt wrinkly, sweat running down my face. I start to stare into my eyes, disgusting. Why do they even have to be different colors? 

Looking around again, everything starts to feel so surreal. Like someone was watching me, everything started to feel like a simulation. 

"Im not even real"

"Im not even real"

"Im not even real" 

Those four words floated around my mind as my eyes landed on everything, hes wasn't real.. if he's not real then, is anything else real. It was all in my head, hes not real..

A shaky breath left my body as I looked down and started to walk away from the mirror. Not forgetting to look back at it before I closed the door behind me, was that- I won't question it. 

"We aren't real ranboo.."

I whip around to find the oddly soothing voice that called out to me. I start walking faster trying to get out the hallway.

"We don't exist"

..who doesn't exist? My head started to spin as my eyes widen.

"Its already happening"

What is..? Did I forget something? No no no no, where's my book?

"It will always be your fault"

Where are they? Stop it.. I don't like this.. Voices clouded my head as I dropped to my knees, I could hear them getting closer and more voices talked over each other.

The yelled, whispered.. they told me it was all my fault. That nothing was real, and I believed them. Is anything real honestly? 

Everything will end sooner or later, it can either happen peacefully or it will be at the fault of humans. Everything felt clouded as everything closed in, my heart started pumping faster and it got harder to breath normally. My limbs left weak as I pulled my knees up to my chest. 

Stop..  
Stop..

Its too much, there are too many people yelling. I get it, I know. I know its my fault you can stop now!

Tears poured down my cheeks as I bring my hands to my head. 

I get it.

I get it.

You can stop now.

Foot steps became loud around me, bottles clanking together, and crashing of plates hit the floor. My cries became louder as the noise in my head continued.

Everything around me feels fake, I feel like I could just sink into the ground as the world crumples around me. Static noise starts to play over the voices and people destroying my home. 

I tried to scream but my voice came out dead, my crown falling besides me. My hands go up to my ears and start banging on them, I want it to stop. Please make it stop..

Suddenly, everything stops at once and the static music ringing through my head dies down to almost unnoticeable. 

Bring up my head in surprise I glace around frantically to catch the people trashing my house.. but no one was there, there are no people. No one was yelling, no one was throwing my plates, bottles weren't being bashed together.

..what..?

So nothing was real.. I guess they were right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know of any spelling/grammar mistakes!


	8. 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Tommy gets sick of being trapped inside the wrong body.

Tw: dysphoria  
Ship: none  
Requested: nope  
==========

Tommy's pov:

Ending my stream I sigh, energy immediately dropping as I slump down my chair. My empty coke on its side, im not really worried about it spilling. I finished it a while ago. 

I gulp saliva as I look to my computer, the title had "Big man is live join now"

..

Looking back over to my offline chat, still seeing byes, random quotes that I probably will never understand, and a bunch of "big man come back".. 

Not really letting it get to my head, I grab the coke can in my hand and throw it in my bin. Its close to over flowing. 

Above my trash bin, was a small mirror. A while ago I tapped a piece of paper on it so I wouldn't have to stare at my reflection. My reflection made me cringe everytime I took a glance at myself. 

Out of dumb curiosity I slowly removed that paper, horrible decision.

The white sheet of paper swayed down the the floor gracefully as I looked myself in the eyes. My eyebrows are so bushy.. in complete honesty I kind of wish I didn't portray as a masculine guy. Then, there are so confusing times where I want to be masculine.. but I dont want to be a boy. 

I dont want to be a girl either.

I dont want to be anybody..

I just want to be Tommy.

Then there where times that I don't want to be Tommy.. but I don't know who I want to be.

There are a lot of times where I wished to be masculine, in a girl type way. I wanted to have boobs sometimes, but then there are times where I admired how flat my chest was. 

Sometimes I wanted to wear dresses and skirts, but I don't want people to see me as a girl. Or a feminine guy. 

I just simply want to exist. 

I hate how wide my noes is, how I have such thin lips. How lanky I was.. today was one of those days where I just wanted to rip my fucking skin off. I wanted to gouge out my eyes, tare off my tongue, I want to dislocated all my limbs. 

This isn't my body.

I'm so unhappy with my body.

This will never be my body. 

Tears weld in my eyes and I continued to pick out ever imperfection. I started to imagine myself with a mix of masculine and feminine features. Wonder what it would be like if one day I woke up and didn't hate the body I owned. That would be a dream. 

I look down at myself, I smiled at my flat chest. It made me happy, my eyes slow wander to other parts. My legs are so long and skinny, my feet a bit to big. My eyes landed on-

NO.

I shot my eyes back up in panic, wet tears stained my face as I wanted to fucking cut off that part about me. Why does it need to be there? I don't want it.

I don't like this stupid meat sack that I had to carry around, I wish we could just customize ourselves like video game characters. I wished that society wasn't so fucking mean. It hurt every bit of my soul to have to wake up in this.. thing. It hurt to have to take a shower, get changed. I hated every part about having to have a body you don't like. I wish I had the confidence of others. To strut around not giving a damn what other think. 

Gulping down saliva, I cross my arms around my body and let looked down at my carpet. Angling my eyes to where I couldn't see my body, I quickly shuffle over to my bed and plodding down. I let the bedsheets swallow me as I rested my head on my pillow, closing my eyes that still rained tears. 

Maybe one day, I'll be happy.

Maybe one day I'll wake up and not hate my body.

Maybe one day, I'll smile as I look at myself.

But that day is far to come, because I'm so damn far away to figuring out who I am. I'm so confused. Till then I'd just have to suck it up and carry on with myself, hating every aspect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know of any spelling/grammar mistakes!


	9. 𝐁𝐞 𝐐𝐮𝐢𝐞𝐭

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Tubbos feelings finally spill out the bottle he was stuffing them in.

Tw: self-harm [scratching and cutting]  
Ship: none  
Request: nope just a vent   
==========

Tubbos pov:

I sat in on my desk chair, tears in my eyes as I my eyes are locked on the computer screen infront of me. I don't know why I feel like crying right now, nothing really happened. 

I thought i was getting better, I thought I didn't need to do that anymore. I was clean for so long, 8 damn months. It has all gone to waste now, 8 months of progress and its all gone. 

It just happened, now I'm sat here. Tears on the edge of falling, and using all my power to not scratch and cut my ankles. 

My thoughts rumbled through my head, loud and quite thoughts not really having a pattern to it. I rested my head in my hands, swallowing spit the clogged my throat. Sniffing as tears slowly dripped down my face. I tried to wipe them away as fast as possible to stop myself from crying.

Why now? I was okay 30 minutes ago..

More tears rushed down my face as it became harder to keep them away. Letting out a choked sob, my hand reaches for my drawer next to my desk. Rummaging through the messy clothes I finally found what I was looking for. 

My thoughts became louder when the blade was pushed against my ankle, all I needed to do was run it down slowly to feel all my problems slip away. Salty tears clouded my vision, making almost impossible to see properly. My hands dropped the sharp and close to breaking blade. 

It started when I was eleven, and it becomes so much worse. But I was okay for a while, I thought.. I was okay for the longest time. 

But I'm so fucking done with being the therapist friend, it made me sad that I had to give out my heart to my friends. But I never got a how are you back, non of them took time to force me to talk about my feelings. I know damn well that everytime they acually asked I always said 'I'm fine!' And changed the topic off me so fast. Maybe its my fault.

It is my fault, and I can't be mad at that.

Everything felt so overwhelming as I brought my sharp nails to my ashy ankles, damn I really need to get more lotion. 

With that thought I started to drag my nails up and down in a repetitive motion. Slowly but surly scratching away at my skin, my ankle became more red then a plate white. Stopping what I was doing, I looked down to myself. 

A blade on the floor, tears stained my green button down shirt, snot ran down my nose, and my ankle close to bleeding.

Fucking pathetic.

I just wished my thoughts could be quiet for once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know of any spelling/grammar mistakes!


	10. 𝐒𝐨𝐨𝐭𝐒𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐬

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Wilbur and his sides have a nice breakfast.

Tw: none  
Ship: none  
Request: Glitchy_Demon13  
[On wattpad]  
==========

Wilbur's Pov: 

Grumbling, I hopped out of bed.

My hair looked an absolute mess, I walked into the bathroom to do the necessary things. Brush my teeth, use the bathroom, all that. Taking a small glance at my clock, it's around 9:30 in the morning. They all would probably be up by now. 

Making my way over to the kitchen, the sent of food starts to flood my nose. I smile they were all up, well maybe not all. 

Vile would probably still be sleeping if I'm being honest, Payton would probably be the one cooking breakfast at the moment. Ruben would probably just be chilling on the couch, Levi would most likely be on the couch with Ruben. Just your average morning. 

Walking around the corner, I see Payton putting the last of freshly cooked eggs and bacon on a plate. He glances up at me and smiles, "Hi kiddo! Sit down the others should be here in a bit" his voice projecting way too much happiness considering it being the morning. I look to my left, surprised that Vile was up. Though he looked extremely tired, like he was dragged out of bed and forced to be up. Probably Rubens doing.

I give a small wave to his, he just gives me a small smile before he starts to move his way to the dinner table. 

Plopping down next to me, he moves his beanie a little so it could rest comfortably on his head. "You sleep well?" I asked with intent, him not being a very social person all he did was give me a "mhm". 

A toilet flushes in the distance and in the corner of my eye I see Ruben walk out. Hands wet after them being washed. "Good morning fellow soots!" Payton follows with the same energy, while Vile just sighs and looks back down to his phone. "Whats got you in a mood Charlie Frown?" 

Vile rolls his eyes and takes a look upwards at Ruben, "Its too fucking early for this shit 'Princess'" Levi sniffles a laugh at the new found nickname. 

Levi sets down his book and walks over to the wooden table, he pushes his glasses up the bridge of his noes. 

The last to sit down was Payton, he usually is the one to make breakfast but most of the time we serve ourselves. Payton is my morality, the one that tries to direct me in the correct moral position. Hes usually sweet, always thoughtful of others. Ruben is my Creativity, he took a huge role in helping me come up with the script for Dream smp season one.

Levi is my logical side, my left brain more some of you reading. Kind of like morality he helps me see the logical side in things. Vile is my anxiety, my worrisome thoughts. Hes the one to make me double check if I locked my front door, stuff like that. 

All together we made SootSides, an 'unstoppable force'. Well that's what Ruben likes to call us anyways. 

"Whats your plan for streaming today?" 

That voice was Vile, putting down my fork I start to explain that I wanted to do a 100 players _____.

"Don't you think is over done? Not to put you down but, maybe your viewers want something new?" Both Levi and Ruben seemed to agree with the statement Morality gave, something new would be nice I suppose. 

"What if they don't want something new? Maybe that would be weird.." My anxious trait tried to argue. It made me think, I did want to branch out and try other things. Non minecraft related stuff, but most of my fans were here for the minecraft.

"Well maybe we could ask them? Give a poll if they want more minecraft, or something new?" Levi tried to reason, he seemed to be neutral with this topic.

"Seems alright" Vile agreed and Payton nodded. 

I smiled wide as I went back to eating, so did my other sides. This was just like every other day, finishing up my plate I put it in the sink. It was Vile's day to wash the dishes, I could hear a groan as he looked at the sink full of dishes and cups. 

Stepping into my room to get dressed, I announce that streaming will start to my sides in 20-30 minutes. 

I hear multiple voices responding back from different parts of my apartment.

Grinning as I looked into the mirror, my sides collectively gathering behind me to ask if I had everything set up. 

Fixing my hair one last time, I let them run off to go do their things. Telling them that I was heading off to go start streaming.

"Don't kill each other!"

"No promises!"

"Alrighty!"

"Okayy!"

"Mhm"

Smiling one last time, I put my earbuds in and click on the 'start stream' button.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know of any spelling/grammar mistakes!


	11. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐓𝐫𝐢𝐩

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Wilbur has a breakdown over going to the beach.

Tw: Dysphoria and profanity   
Ship: none  
Request: ChaiCha0s  
[On wattpad]  
==========

Wilbur's pov:

Fuck I should have stayed home.

I should have stayed in my stupid office chair, I should be fucking around on minecraft. Maybe even streaming.

But no.

Noo I'm sitting in this car, this dumb grey car. On the edge of an anxiety attack, god I'd do anything to just go back home. Where I'm safe. I could be sitting on my couch watching Netflix and letting time tick away infront of my eyes. 

Puffing out my shirt for the millionth time, I shift in my seat. (I'm so uncomfortable in this shirt, it wasn't as loose as my other t-shirts.) Mentally rolling my eyes and crossing my arms over my chest. 

Saturday, 2:45 am

Hopping on discord, I had just got done streaming. I was just shitting around with Tommy and Quackity, it was more of a boring stream for me (I let Quackity do his bits and entertain my stream for the most part). It was mostly dry, I haven't really been feeling myself lately.

I rub my nose and sniff a bit, I contemplate joining a call with schlatt. I mean he's online right now..

"Fuck it" I mumble under my breath and click to enter his channel.

"Wilbur! Whats up buddy?" His loud recording voice projects through his mic, "hey schlatt.." I could see him frown at the tone of voice I used. 

"Whats wrong man?" 

I look down, not really knowing what to say.. what do I even say? That I want to rip off my fucking skin, that I want to float away in a abyss of nothingness, that all I want to do is exist peacefully with out having to think 'is my chest if flat enough?'

Sighing, "I– I have that feeling again.. and I fucking hate it" 

"Wil how long have you been wearing you binder?" 

I shut my eyes closed while looking at my feet, I know the damn answer to the question. 

"Wilbu–" I cut him off before he can continue his investigation,

"13 hours.." whispering out. I didn't want to look up at his disappointed face. I knew what he was going to say, I just didn't want to expect that fact. 

My breath clogged my throat, "go take it off wil you know that your ribs could get all fucked up" he takes a moment to pause to make sure I'm listening, "thats the last thing I would want for you"

His voice is sincere. I know he doesn't mean any harm, but fuck me I just hate this fucking body. 

"Fine" I mumble and get up, turning off my camera. I step aside to take off my yellow hoodie, closing my eyes to take a deep breaths I cross my arms over my body. Placing my arms on the straps of my binder and bend over, yanking the fabric over my head and off my body. 

I'm scared.

Terrified acually, im so fucking scared to open my eyes and look at my body. The thing that makes me want to fucking die every day. The thing that I have to live in. I can feel tears weld up in my eyes, and anxiety start to fill my chest. But try my hardest push it away, not literally but. 

With my eyes stitch closed I find my yellow oversized hoodie and put it on.

It has thick text over my chest when I put it on, it helps with the feeling of having fucking tits.

I turn on my camera and see schlatts eyes dart up and smile, "Thank you wilbur, its not that I don't trust you but can you put your binder on the back of your chair..?" Knowing what he meant, I picked up the binder that was layed on the floor and layed it on the the back of my chair.

Seeing him smile made me proud of myself, but the feeling didn't subside and just go away. It will always be at the back of my head, just waiting to come out and fucking terrorize me.

We had a normal conversation after that. Just joking around and over all him trying to distract me from myself. 

He didn't bring up the binder or make me feel uncomfortable, and I thank him for that. 

Saturday, 8:17 am

I fell asleep a bit after me and schlatt finished talking, not feeling too well rested but hey. What am I to do?

A ding had come from my computer, a discord message.

Philza :D

Hey wil! Ya know how we are going to meet up?  
8:21 am

Yup  
8:21 am

I was think we could go to the beach with Tommy and Techno   
8:21 am

My heart stopped. I knew we were going to meet up, I definitely knew. But I definitely did not plan on going swimming, and I did not plan on swimming with my binder on. 

I know the risks (and most of the time I challenge them) but schlatt had made it so immensely clear, 

"Don't over bind"

"Don't work out and bind"

"Don't sleep in your binder"

"Don't swim in your binder"

Blah blah blah, shit like that.

He told me that if I mess up my ribs I won't be able to get top surgery, which would absolutely suck. I don't want to risk that chance. I had done some research myself to, only to find out that it was true.

But what the hell am I going to do?

I'm not ready to tell them I'm trans, I just simply don't want to. I had a fucking panic attack when I told schlatt, and I'm so glad that he was nice about it. But I've lost so many friends over coming out, its just scary. 

Gulping I look back at my computer, whipping the tears off my cheeks that I didn't even know I had. 

Sure! :)  
8:37 am

Tuesday, 3:56 pm

That is how I ended up here, in a grey car, next to Tommy, and about to cry. 

My elbow was leaning on the side door, my eyes just staring into absolutely nothing. The trees passed by rapidly as Phil drove the car, the blue sky turning grey the more we went. Today was going to be a windy day I suppose. 

The air that I forced in and out of my lungs smelt clean. But not fresh. 

I want to fucking rip out my lungs. 

Maybe then I'll finally be happy. 

"Wilbur?" 

"Wilbur snap out of it man!"

Flinching away from the loud sound, I relized we were here. At the beach. 

Holy shit. 

I grit my teeth together tight, we're here. Holy shit. What the fuck. I clear my throat and give Tommy a small smile and open the door. 

I can feel my knees getting weaker as we walk closer to the water. Not many people were here, only about 10 (most of them were far away from the area we are at). Techno gave me a concerned look, yet he choose not to say anything. 

My hands start to feel numb and sweater than before, my chest started to feel tight. Like it was full rocks. My armpits started to sweat. 

Fucking hell. 

I felt so confined, but I'm literally out in the open. Techno again looks at me with worried eyes, hes the only one that seems to notice my panic increased more by the second. 

He walks side ways a little before getting close to me, "you okay?" He lowers his voice to a whisper, leaning to me so I could hear. 

Not really knowing what to say, I just gave him a nod. He didn't look convinced at all, so he stayed close to me but gave me space. Before I knew it, we stood infront of the water.

Tommy's smile grew across his face, he threw his shirt off and ran into the cold London water. Phil shook his head and followed after, Techno stayed put though. He just sank to the sand floor and drew random shapes in the sand, his face stayed the name, pretty emotionless. 

"So you want to talk about what's going on?" 

His voice snapped me out of my trance of staring into the water. "Huh?"

"I can wait" Knowing what he meant, I didn't say anything. Tears started to prick my eyes and I sat down next to him. Letting out a sob I've been suppressing since the start of that stupid car ride, I let my head rest on my bare knees. "I fu– fucking hate my b- body" I managed to cry out quietly. But it wasn't just hating my body, no it was more. It was wanting to be me, a want of wanting to feel normal.

Its not just hating my body, its wanting to rip of the parts of me that don't make me.. me. It's the wanting of not feeling dysphoria everytime I shower. Its the wanting to have the lights turned on while I take a shower. 

It's not that simple, it won't ever be simple.

I won't ever be able to just put it in a simple sentence, one that truly explains what I really feel. 

Sniffling I feel Techno wrap an awkward arm around my sholders, I saw his face turn to confusion as he felt my binder. "Is that.." he stopped himself before he could assume anything wrong.

"Yeah" it was a quiet word that slipped put my throat, I didn't feel like talking at all. Sighing the tears that slowly and quickly fell down my face eventually came to a stop. He hadn't said anything.

Fuck he hates me now. 

Anxiety burst through my body as I put my head back down. 

"Is it okay that I hug you?" He sounded worried, maybe he doesn't hate me. Maybe he cares.

Giving him a small, "mhm" and an unnoticeable nod he wrapped his arms around my body. I felt safe, I didn't feel judged. The lump of anxiousness died down as I let out all my bottled up feelings. 

"You don't have to go and swim you know that right? I'll stay here with you if you want" it sounded like a great opportunity to not be lonely (and look weird) but I didn't want to stop him from having fun. I dont want to be a burned to everyone that comes across me. 

"I don't even like swimming anyways" he chuckles out, throwing a rock he found in the sand. 

My smile grew, for the first time today. 

We spent our time throwing random things we found into the ocean side, Tommy and Phil came up to us and asked if I was okay. The second time the came back to chat with us I ended up telling them.

And god did I feel relieved.

They didn't care, they accepted me for me. They didn't see me differently, they saw me as the same person I've always been. 

We went out for food after that, stayed up and ran around London being complete idiots. Don't worry I took off my binder before spring around the payments of the city. 

Tuesday, 11:07 am

Clicking on the purple 'start stream' button, I smiled as I saw people roll in and greet me. 

"Hi chat! Sorry for the late stream, but look who I have with me!" 

Tommy and Phil popped up on camera while techno just waved him arm around. Chuckling as I saw chat go crazy, the same bubble of anxiety rised in my chest. But I pushed it down as far as I could, I had rehearsed what I was going to say. I felt confident, I was surrounded by the people who care about me.

That's what matters, not if a group of people hated me. Which will alsways happen even if I try and prevent it.

A few minutes flew by, mostly Tommy being a prick. Techno dominated geogusser, and Phil just vibing with our energy and giving sassy comments here and there. 

"Hey chat, hey chat.. I have something to announce" I try and get the viewers attention.

"Im trans, female to male."

I looked over to chat, a burst of hearts and congrats came rolling in. Donations popped up telling me that they loved me for me, Twitter notifications buzzing my inbox of people telling me I'm valid. It all made me shed a tear of happiness, it wasn't so bad. 

"Love you guys"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know of any spelling/grammar mistakes!


	12. 𝐒𝐧𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐝

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Tubbo finally gives in to the voices
> 
> [To vent my intrusive thoughts out]

I was thinking, "why can't I find any more good angsty shit". Then I remembered I can just fucking write it, so :)  
Tw: a shit ton of gore, insanity, shit writing, death, its my normal angst.   
Ship: none  
Request: nope  
==========

3rd person pov: 

Tubbo had has it easy for most his life, he had a nice family, an okay school life, and an overall stable mental health.. for the most part. 

Everyday he followed his normal routine.   
Wake up.  
Bathroom stuff.  
Eat.  
School.  
Family.  
Sleep.

It worked for him. Everyday he'd wake up and blatantly ignore the intrusive thoughts that attacked him the second he opened his eyes. 

He'd walk into the bathroom, and ignore he imaginary blood that would come from carving shapes into his face. He'd go and eat breakfast and avoid eye contact so he wouldn't think of bashing peoples heads into the table. He would attend school and try not to think about the voices telling him to shove pencils down the teachers throats. He would watch movies and not act of the thoughts for him breaking the TV infront of his family. And he would go to bed staring at the fan that he thought of decapitating his head off with. 

Tubbo thought it was fine, he thought that if he pushed it away enough he would get through the day. Hell, he even thought it was some what normal.

==========

He could tell today was going to be a bad day, Tubbo woke up drenched in sweat. His head pounded and his body ached in pain, the stress of life finally caught up with him. He couldn't run away from his problems anymore. Not at this moment.

The weekend had just started, for him it meant that he could just stare at the fast spinning fan for hours (until he could manage the courage to get out of bed). 

So that's exactly what he did, it was only 7 am anyways. What has he to do? School didn't need attending, and breakfast would be in a couple hours. 

But this time it became hard for swat away his thoughts.

His brown hair stuck to his forehead as sweat ran down the side of his face. His clothes felt sticky to his body and having a blanket over him only had it worse. 

Saliva bundled in his throat, the voices only grew louder and louder in his head. They ranted about blood on the walls, about how pretty a painting out of blood would be, how beautiful it would be to watch as organs slowly slipped out of a lifeless body. The amazing texture that would come from squashing someone's brain. 

It all became too much. 

His brown eyes would strain of too much staring into nothing the problem was, he would never want to inflict harm onto anyone. At least not on purpose. 

Today was different, he felt out of place. He didn't care if someone got hurt, in fact he was letting his horrid thoughts overtake his mind. We would describe the feeling as, 'fucking great'. He would say that it felt amazing letting his mind run free.

"Scoop out Tommy's eyes and force feed it to him, cut off all this hair and stuff his eye sockets with them and listen to his screaming." 

"Bash Wilbur's guitar against his head until shards of wood stuck out from his head. Push all his guitar picks up his nose"

"Tie down Techno and slowly carve a square into his torso using his sharpest knife. Rip out his organs so painfully slow and watch as they overwork to keep his weak body alive." 

"Yank off all of phils feathers, make his wings bare and cold. Rub his feather-less wings into the ground with your foot, making them become into a mesh of blood." 

He giggled quietly as he thought of the fun dawing he could create on someone's back. Making sure the lines were thin so the blood would come out in clean lines. 

"It would be so beautiful" he struggled to whisper as his manic laughing got louder. 

'Thud'

'Thud'

'Thud'

Tubbo's head snapped to the door, "Tubbo can you quite down I was sleeping.." his mouth curved up into a smile as he heard Tommy's voice come from behind the door. He wanted to satisfy the voices. 

He needed to satisfy the voices. 

Mentally slapping himself he forcefully pulled himself out of his trance. "Sorry!" He shakily breathed out, 'what the fuck am I thinking?'. Shutting his eyes, he rubbed them until it felt like he was in another dimension. 

But the voices didn't stop, in fact the grew worse. Those 10 minutes of mindlessly thinking got to him, now he would imagine blood on people and things broken over their heads. Tubbo became numb to it all, he knew one day he was going to break eventually. He just had to wait for the day and hope his family understood that he had to, that he had no other choice but to listen. 

========== 

The day came, it was time. He knew the time was near and that soon he'd have to give in. 

He was just terrified.

I mean, he had no plan and he was bound to get caught. There was no way that the neighbors wouldn't call the police the minute they heard blood curdling screams. He knew he'd have to take a plee deal and just admit he was guilty and face the consequences. 

But Tubbo couldn't help it, Tubbo would do anything to get rid of the voices that were slowly driving him insane. Occasionally he would stop and think to himself, 'what the fuck am I doing?' But that didn't stop it, it never did. 

So it was Wednesday, 3 in the morning. And he came up with a shitty plan, he knew he was bound to get caught. So at this point it was just acts of recklessness. 

His plan was to start with Phil, his father figure. The man that had been responsible for him since he found him in a shitty cardboard box. He chose him to be first since Phil never screams, and if he does then it wouldn't be much of a problem since it would be quite. 

Next would he wilbur, hes a pretty heavy sleeper so no worries in him walking up. Now Wilbur would scream, and damn he could scream loud. He took that into account and made sure that the first thing he did was to fuck up his vocal chords. 

Then would go Tommy, Tommy screams like a maniac AND he's not a very heavy sleeper. So he'd just have to fuck up his voice too, not much work would have to go into that. Tubbo knew Tommy was quiet weak and can't really defend himself.

The last on his list would be Techno, the madman himself. The pig man that people would bow down to in fear. Tubbo just hoped that the shock of an 'innocent bee boy' murdering his entire family would scare him enough. 

So there he was, standing infront of Philza Minecrafts door at 3 in the morning. No sound could be heard except for the door creaking open, and a teenage boy in a green sweater walking in. 

Tubbo made sure to lock the door behind him, his hair was poofy and messy. It bounced slightly as he stalked over to the sleeping man's bed. 

"..tuboo? What are you doing up so la–" the half asleep man was cut off, Tubbo raised his blade over his throat and didn't hesitate to slice open the blonds throat. Giggling. That was Tubbos reaction, his brown eyes going hazy as he watched Phils eyes widen. A thick red liquid ran down onto the white sheets. 

A smile spread across the small teenagers face, he wasn't sorry. He was far from sorry. 

Phil wasn't dead, at least not yet. So the boy took advantage of that, he forcefully opened Philzas mouth wide and brought the knewly sharp blade to the mouth. Pushing the bloodied knife to the back of his mouth, he started to roughly cut out the poor man's tongue.

Tubbo had lost all control of himself, he was no longer in control. His voices screamed and chanted for more. The psycho like smile had not yet been whipped off his face. The sage green sweatshirt was now stained with blood splatters, his white teeth had some blood on them to. 

The blond hair was now a deep red, some blond strands still yellow and vibrant.

[Skipping wilburs part cause I want to]

Now came Tommy, the giggling boy knew how much it was going to hurt seeing him die to his hands. 

But he wasn't in control at the moment.

Tommy had woken up to wilburs cut of yell, and the blonde haired boy cowerd in the corner when he saw Tubbos face and clothes. 

"Wha– what the fuck Tubbo..? Big man..?" His blue crystal eyes became big as Tubbo walked closer to him. 

"What happened to wilbu–" Tubbo sat down next to the shaking body, leaning his head on his shoulder. He knew damn well that his next actions were going to be, no witness he thought. 

He wanted one last moment with Tommy, even if the other friend wouldn't enjoy it as much. Tommy's thin arm wrapped around Tubbo's shoulder, he was tense and Tubbo knew why. 

The knife still in the smaller boys hand, he brought it up to Tommy's arm. Unlike everyone else, Tubbo would come to Tommy and vent to him about the thoughts. Tommy understood, but he was scared to die. 

The blond let out a whimper as a knife started to skin the left arm, Tommy put a hand over his mouth as tears left his eyes and rolled down his pale face. Tubbos hand grabbed Tommy's finger and started to sit off his finger nails.

At that point Tommy couldn't hold back his screams any longer, so to Tubbo the only logical thing to do was to say a quick sorry and punch Tommy's throat repetitively. At least until this loud screams died down, (and they did fast). 

That was when he finally realized what he had just done, he stood above Tommyinnits lifeless body. The one that would joke around with him on cold nights, the one that would help him understand long and complicated words.

Tommy was gone.

Tommy's body was dead and beat on the floor, and he understood why. The boys best friend had even suppressed his screams so Tubbo wouldn't get caught. 

"What have I done.." 

He felt like screaming his head off.

His life line was gone.

His best friend was gone.

The one thing that made him smile..

Was gone. 

But he wasn't finished, we still had one target. The last one was going to be hard. Techno was the un delectable warrior that would travel across different smps. How would a small 5'5 teenager kill an overpowered piglin hybrid. 

Getting up from the painting he had created on the light grey walls, Tubbo knew he had to move on. 

He opened the door and ignored the drying blood on the yellow door knob. 

Tubbos shoes made blood footprints as he started to walk to the opening of the hallway, Techno's door. Nothing special was on it, but light shined out from under the white door. 

Just as he was to reach for the door knob, the knife was stolen from his grasp behind him.

"Hu–"

With one move he was flipped around and banged into the wooden door.

It was very foolish on Tubbos part, for him to think he of all people could kill the Technoblade.

"Tubbo dude snap out of it!" A slap could be heard across their side of the house, in attempt to pull him out his weird trance. Techno towerd over him, his cardboard crown slumped down to the side of his head. Eyebags prominent and he had half his makeup wiped off. His eyeliner was a bit smudged and the concealer had been wiped off. 

"Bruhh I was just trying to wipe of my make up, what the hell is this?!" He pointed to everyones rooms. 

This is when adrenaline was washing off of Tubbo, the slap to his face was a slap back to reality. He had just ended 3 important lives. 3 lives at meant something, to him, to other people. 

"Im– techno I– it was the voices.. I don't know what came over me–" The smaller boy broke down, he felt in control now. The realization that he lost the people he care about.. he lost them because of him.

Tears blurred his eyes, Techno had to take a moment process what his 'little brother' had said. Voices. Thats when it dawned on him, he has voices too just like him. 

A small 'oh' escaped Technos mouth, his little brother needed comfort. Not a lecture but that would come later, in this moment Tubbo needed someone to tell him that it would be okay. Even if it didn't feel okay. 

The most logical thing the pink haired man thought to do was to pull him into an uncomfortable hug. Feeling Tubbo melt into the hug, he didn't mind the blood stains he was going to get on his favorite pajamas. Running a light hand in Tubbo's tangled brown hair, "its okay.. well figure it out, I'll even teach you how to get blood stains out"

Sure, it hurt that his father and brothers were now dead. It happened all the time, now he had to focuse on taking care of Tubbo. Teaching him how to handle the voices and bloodlusts, teaching him the the basics. 

Right now. In this moment, he wasn't worried that his family was gone. He was worried for the boy that probably couldn't handle having voices. 

Pulling out the hug, "come, I'll teach you how to take care of bodies"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know of any spelling/grammar mistakes!


	13. 𝐇𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐈𝐬 𝐌𝐲 𝐓𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Quackity gets heavily effected by the fights with Schlatt.

Its 11:30 pm and I'm lonely.  
Tw: manipulation, fighting (physically), alcohol  
Ship: none  
Request: nah, I just specialize in angst.

==========

Quackity's pov: 

"Why can't you do SHIT right?!"

"It was a simple fucking task, can't even do paper work?!"

"The hell is wrong with you?!" 

"I just want what's best.."

"Why did you have to yell at me, you knew im right."

I whimpered as Schlatts voice danced around in my mind. Today he was yelling at me for not doing his paper work, it was so tiring listen to him.

My body flinched away from the crashing sound infont of me, he had thrown a beer bottle to get my attention. Shards of brown glass slide and hit my clothed legs.

"Listen to me, and focus." He white ram eyes glare into my weak body, the horns on his head menacing wrapped around his head. He looked powerful, and scary. 

A shadow casted over his face as he looked down on me. 

"I won't even bother making you do this fucking work, considering you're so damn useless" 

His insults stung me like venom, evsrytims he opened his mouth it felt like acid on my skin. It hurt, mentally. He got close to my face to observe me, like a pet. 

Breath smelling intoxicating, his eyes were droopy. A smirk played on his face, all of a sudden his hand grabbed my head and smashed it into the desk. Not enough to make me pass out, but just enough to make my head pound in protest. 

A whimper escaped my weak body, hearing glass shatter next to me I did what was logical and curled up. 

Heavy footsteps only became background noise, I was alone in the cold room. Shards of what was once a bear bottle next to me, paper displayed around the rooms floor. The mess I created, maybe if only I was a bit faster. A bit smarter this wouldn't have happened. 

Pulling my body up, I shuffle myself under my desk. My safe space.

Wrapping my arms around my fragile body, I rested my forehead onto my arm. I let the tears fall down my cheeks, not caring about my surroundings. I just let myself sob and scream my pain out.

I needed to scream, if only it solved my problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know of any spelling/grammar mistakes!


	14. 𝐖𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐔𝐩 𝐒𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐲

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Tommy can't accept that wilbur died.

I promise you'll get fluff in the next chapter—  
Tw: a dead person, short angst, scuffed writing, gore  
Ship: nope  
Request: ArsonistWrites gave me inspiration  
[On wattpad] ==========

Tommy's pov:

No no no no no. Hes not dead, hes still here, hes still with me.

Phil had just walked away from the horrid scene, he didn't seem to give a shit. The dimond sword layed next to Wilbur's sleeping body. 

I chuckled slightly, hes not dead. Silly me. Hes just sleeping, he'll wake up in no time.

Removing the bloodied brown coat, I placed it behind me as I looked at his pale sweaty face. A smile runs up my face, brushing the long brown hair stands away from his eyes.

A warm red substance still expanding on his white shirt, "we'll have to get that fixed soon" my voice rings around the exploded stone room. His manic laughing still played in my head like a song, the clattering of a sword hitting the ground still apparent. 

'I'm just tired' 

I rubbed my face and stand up over his resting body, knowing it was best for him to sleep. I lift his head and stuff his coat under his head, as if it were a pillow. 

"There we go, isn't that better" 

Tears drip down my cheeks, he's not dead. 

He's not dead.

He's not dead.

He is not dead. 

Just resting, he's tired. He'll wake up soon enough! 

A pool of crimson blood started to stain my shoes, glancing over to my brother I see his blood flowing out his body.

I roll my eyes, "Come on wilby.. you've been through worse"

Laughing at the memories that displayed like a movie, "remember– remember that one time Techno stabbed you with a fork..?" My voice cracked as I talked to no one. 

"You were strong, you didn't even cry."

Chest filling with bubbles of anxiety, I start to feel my body sweat more. 

"An.. an that one time all four of us jumped off a cliff into water? You almost broke your arm." I move my eyes from the puddle of blood to his cold face,

"So what's wrong now? Wake up man.. I need you" 

"We can have a nice breakfast with Niki at the flower feild.. your favorite pancakes"

Wilbur's face stayed unmoving, I suppose for now I'll just have to take care of him. At least for until he wakes up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know of any spelling/grammar mistakes!


	15. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐒𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐞

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Wilbur gets tired of existing.

Vent shit, yeah yeah ill get you some fluff soon its just harder to write

Tw: Suicide, smoking, just general angst ig  
Ship: no  
Request: nah  
==========

3rd person pov: 

"Dad I'm going out!" Wilbur raised his voice, his hand already grabbed the door knob.

"This late? Be careful bud.." 

"Yeah yeah," the tall man took a second to look around, not missing his father's worried face. "I love you guys!" Three voices were heard around the house. All of them portraying different emotions. Wilbur waved one last time, giving his dad a small smile before turning and walking out the door. 

Wilbur wasted no time in walking fast down the pavement, his mind already set on his destination. 

His mind played different scenarios of his family and friends. He engulfed himself in his thoughs as he walked, not giving two fucks if he got ran over. Wilburs eyes looked dead, the bags dark and they had a small purple tint to them. Lips bitten and chapped beyond belief, his mask hid the bottom of his face well. 

Wilbur kept to himself. Not bothering to look up at anyone passing, not caring about the homeless man asking for pounds, not giving a damn that the wind started to pick up, not giving two shits if it started to sprinkle. 

His feet easily got tired fast, he hadn't had to walk a long distance in a while. He was always in his room either laying down or sitting.

Sniffing the man looked up at his surroundings.

The grey clouded sky over took the scenery, waves started to crash down a bit harder. People began to walk away from the beach, but not Wilbur. Instead he walked closer to the raging ocean. He fumbled in his pocket for a bit, after finding what he wanted he sat down in the sand. 

The oddly tall figure sighed, rolled up his blunt and let his nerves wash away as he lit up the blunt. He pulled his black mask down and let his fingers put the blunt up to his mouth. He felt his heart race, the weed having made his motor skills heighten. 

A creepy smiling crept up his pale face, an adrenaline rush kicking in. 

"Fuckk" He dragged out the k, Wilbur rubbed his face and looked out to the ocean. Every passing minute the rain increased. 

After a while his hand shoved the blunt into the sand ground, the wind and rain had ruined it. Wilbur forcefully took off his beanie, placing next to his body. He looked down to his feet and closed his eyes before undoing the ties on his shoes. Lazily placing his shoes on top of his beanie, he stood up. 

Tears already formed in his eyes, "The fuck you crying for..?" Wilbur sadly asked himself, the poor man's body started to shake. 

His mind went on autopilot, feet submerged in cold water. He chuckled and walked deeper and deeper into the water. At this point he was a bit over knee deep, the cold of the water waking him up more. Wet salty tears found themselves running down Wilbur's face. He didn't care to hold them back or wipe them away. 

Now he was waist deep.

The lanky body being pushed around and starting to get thrown the more he got deeper. The waves almost wanting him to return back to shore. 

Now the waves crashed onto him elbow deep, his feet starting to lose grip quickly. Wilbur's breath started to quicken, chest feeling tight. 

"It will all be over soon Soot, just hang in a little bit more" He mumbled to himself. 

The water was now up to his shoulders.

The angry waves crashed onto his face and pushed him down, forgetting that their job was to push him out of the water. 

And again, a fucked up smile displayed on Wilbur's porcelain face. Then a laugh escaped him.

Wilbur finally let go of his grip, on reality and on the ocean floor. His body was taken underwater, the waves not leaving any room for mercy. The salt water entered his lungs, but the water didn't have to fight for entry. 

It stung.

But that didn't matter, no not at all.

The last thing Wilbur Minecraft Soot ever did, was scream his lungs out under water. Wilbur Soot let the 24 years of pain out in that scream, and god did he need it.

Incoming call: Tomathy🙄

Wilbur Minecraft Soot.  
Death by drowning   
1996—2021  
01:31 am

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know of any spelling/grammer mistakes!


	16. ↳ 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐒𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐞

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which SBI don't know how to react.

Part Two  
Tw: Death, SBI finding wilburs stuff, denail  
Ship: no  
Request:Amber_Morgan_Stark  
[Oh wattpad]

==========

3rd person pov: 

Phil sighed once more, the clock displaying '4:45 am' next to him.

Normally one of his sons going out for 3 hours wouldn't bother him. But it was so late, the father figure couldn't help but worry. 

Kicking his legs off the bed, he stretched a bit and stood up straight. The tired man rubbed his eyes while walking out his door, heading to the musicians room. 

Knock

Kncok

"Wilbs? You home?" Phil tested out to see if Wilbur had already been home, but he already knew he hadn't heard the door open. Repeating his action one last time, he opened the door. The room was oddly clean, the carpet flooring didn't have any rubbish lying around. His shoes against each other neatly, his bed made perfectly.

Phil knew something was up. 

The father figure was always one to become quickly paranoid when one of his sons went missing. It happened often, but this time it felt off. 

Suddenly, his stomach dropped. He didn't know why or how to explain, he felt like there was an imbalance in the world. Like something horrible happened, and this only fueled this thoughts. "Everythings okay.. I hope" Phil responded to himself in hopes of calming down. 

He tried to reassure himself that it was all in his head. 

"..Techno?" His voice shook slightly as he called through the door, not bothering to knock since he knew his son was up. 

"Yeah?" A tall figure now stood at the door way, a pink wolf cut style of hair messy and curled in different directions. 

"Have you seen wilbur..?"

Techno pulled his glasses to the top of his noes and sighed, "no, why?"

"I haven't fucking seen him in hours"

His eldest son sighed, "you know that's how Wilbur is, probably gettin' high with his buddies—"

"Its not.." Phil pinched his nose and looked down, foot starting to tap on the floor. "Its different this time, somethings up. Hes been off the last few days Techno"

Techno pressed his lips together and let out another sigh, he could tell that this time was different. Sure Wilbur snuk out at 3 am many times but this was worrying his father too much. 

"Alright well" The pink haired man took a pause.

A long silence filled the hallway, both not knowing what to say. They stayed silent, but Techno could very much agree. Today did feel off. 

"Lemme go ask Tommy" Techno started to shift him movement to being a walk to his brothers room. 

"Hes probably sleeping"

"Maybe he knows where Wilbs is" He huffed, Phil moving out the way. It was a short walk to his room and not much noise was heard behind the door. Just a bunch of clicking of his mouse, which indicated he was probably doing some late night editing.

Knock

Knock

"Yeahh" Tommy dragged out the H slightly, his voice distant from the door.

"Im almost done just give me a few—" 

"Its not about that Tommy. Can I open the door?"

A small 'mhm' was received and Techno opened the door, not too surprised his brothers posture was fucked and eyebags prominent.

He made a mental note to remind him to sleep. Though that did worry him now, "Have you seen Wilbs?" 

The blond haored boy just shook his head in response, "come on get up, we are gonna look for him"

Tommy made a face in protest obviously not wishing to get up and search his town. Much less for his brother that he thought was probably drunk or high off his ass. 

Nothing was said between the three, Tommy way to tried to give a fuck. Techno determined to figure out why everything felt off, and Phil worried his son could have dont something he would regret. Regardless they all made it to the door and looked at each other, Techno sighed and opened the door.

"Where to first?" Tommy reasoned, "Whats his favorite spot?"

"The beach.." Their father blurt out, eyes widening and his shoulders dropped. He understood what was happening, why his room was to clean, why he left so suddenly. Philza Minecrafts world stopped spinning in that moment, everything came to a stop. It felt like a movie and he refused to believe what his mind told him. 

"Oh.. oh my god—"

==========

"Wilbur!"

It might have been around 6 am, but the adopted family didn't care. All the the tiredness was drained put of them as they scream Wilbur's name relentlessly.

"Wilby..?"

Tommys feet slowed down at the pile of things, sand messed around over the cloth.

The boy bent down, his hand reached to dust the sand off the red cloth. It was odd since the red blob seemed so familiar to him. Like he had some weird connection to it. Tommy didn't know why he felt like he had to see what it was, hell he would have minded his own business. Yet he did.

Picking up the now identified beanie, his blue eyes studied the beanie before looking under it. There layed a phone and shoes. 

Realization poured onto the poor boys face, "no.. no no no" His hands scrambling to turn on the beat up phone, 

One missed call from: Tomathy🙄

"No no no no no" Eyes darting to the shoes, black and scuffed. They pointed towards the sea, the sun started to rise and the rain came to a stop. Clouds still there but becoming less crowded, the raging waves calmed down and began to crash slowly onto the shore. 

Tommy dropped to his knees, "Whats wrong Tom—" The second oldest paused when he saw the sight, a red beanie clutched in his brother chest and shoes pointed to the ocean. Phone discarded to the side, unimportant at the moment. 

The tears on the youngest face were warm and salty, they rushed down his face like a race. 

Then came Phil, the poor father. A proud father at that, he took them in and cared for them. Made sure that they knew the basics in life, assured them that their dreams weren't too big to achieve.

Phil became their true father over time, he gained the sons trust and nursed them when they woke up from horrid nightmares. 

But he could never erase the boys trauma, and he knew that. Phil knew that their luggage of mental pain would always follow them. It didn't matter how many late movie nights they had.

It didn't matter if they all got signed in for therapy, if they all got the Christmas they deserved. Non of it mattered. Their past would always be lurking behind them, day in and day out. 

The world was so cruel.

The world knew when to strike, the father believed that everything happened for a reason. That the universe had a plan for him.

Yet he refused, no he repented the idea that the universe took his son way from him. 

All motion stopped and they all sat down next to each other, each of them held something that was once Wilburs. Hugging it like if it was going to disintegrate into thin air, they all faced the calmly moving sea. Sobs coming from some of them, non of them had the audacity to speak in this moment. 

They all knew Wilbur would be happier, where ever the music loving man was.

They knew.

It just hurt that Wilbur felt like his only escape from life was ending his own life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know of any spelling/grammar mistakesa


	17. 𝐖𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐈𝐬 𝐀𝐰𝐤𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the tension in the room was too much to handle.

..Yup my first time writing smut so shoot me if this is bad  
Cw: Smut.. idk man leave me alone  
Ship: Dreamnap   
Request: My horny ass at 10 pm  
==========

3rd person pov: 

"Do you want food?" Dream chopped his words up to sound robot like.

"Uhh yeah ill take some food!" The man in front of the computer screen breathed out, almost chuckling. 

After another question and another answer, Dream closed the door and disappeared to who knows where. A while passed and Sapnap was finally winding down from stream. Sapnap sent his chat off to someone else's stream, not forgetting to say goodbye.

A sigh filled the room, then a rumbled of the man's stomach was heard. 

He rolled his eyes. Not wanting to go bother Dreams mom for food, he was an adult anyways. He shouldn't really have to depend on his friends mother (food wise). 

"Fuckk" Sapnap groaned. He didn't like to feel hungry, but the thought of having to ask for food.. he just disliked it. "Where's Dream and his dumb lamb.." He whispered under his breath. Almost inaudible. 

He spun around in the chair facing away from his monitor, Sapnaps eyes wondered around the room looking for something to do. Yet he found himself slumping back down in his chair, mother much to do. A hand reached up to push his face out of the way.

Gaint clicking of a door and a small shut could be heard. Signaling Sapnap that someone left the house, that someone was most likely Dreams mom.

Foot steps could be heard, then an opening of his door.

"Uh here's your food, my uh mom made it for you but then she left"

Dreams body stood in the door way, in hand a plate of food that was identified as lamb and white rice. In his other hand he was carrying a spoon. 

The other male got up and took the plate out his hands, "thank you!" His smile beamed and his hand reached for the spoon. With that Dream stood there, then he shifted and started a walk to Sapnaps chair. Plopping down on it, he left Sap to sit on the bed or floor.

Doing just that Sapnap turned and sat down on the guest bed. 

But he didn't start eating just yet, no. His eyes fixated on the back of the dirty blond hair. It was so fluffy and could be considered long for Dream, it curled in just the right places.

God the things he'd do to touch his friends hair.

Fuck he would love to tug on it as he gets his ass railed into the kitchen counter, pull on it while Dream sucked him off. 

Sapnap sucked in a breath and took the spoon to the plate, cutting some lamb off with the utensil. Putting some rice on the spoon and scooped up some lamb.

His eyes wandered over to his shoulder, broad. 

He gulped down some food while imaging the things Dream could do to him, he wanted to be used like Dreams toy for some unknown reason. 

He wanted his shoulders to be over his body, pushing him down. Pinning him to the wall, he dreamed that he would hold onto thoes shoulders as his mind would go blank. He prayed that Dream would just read his mind and make him scream his name. 

But nope.

Days went on and the tension between the two only grew. 

Sometimes they would purposely bump into each other just to feel the others touch. They didn't want to make it obvious that they both were in desperate need of touch. 

Sapnap put the plate aside on the night stand, food finished and his stomach full. 

Still, Dream was focused on the game projecting from the screen. That only made the poor man frustrated, his pants began to feel tight. Normally he wouldn't get hard over lewd thoughs, but it was Dream we are talking about.

Shifting in my position, Sapnap rested his phone in his hand. Then sneakily layed his hands ontop of his crotch area, gaining some friction.

Sure he could have just gotten up and jerk off in the bathroom, but he was bound to make noise and didn't feel like getting caught. 

Huffing he moves his hands a little bit, disguising it as him shifting again.

The man's mind started to move to other places, not really caring on what part of Twitter he was on. Just mindlessly scrolling as his mind started to go deeper. 

He gulped and moved his hand once more, then Dream suddenly spun around quickly. His face displaying happy emotions, "Sap come see this!" 

And so he did, slowly he got up and tried to hide his bulge with his hoodie. Barly hiding it well.

Dream showed off his newst high score on a game, lips curled up in a cute manner. Fuck I want thoes lips to make marks all over my body—

"Sap..?" His face now was cocky and a bit too confident. Then was when he realized, his hoodie had wrinked upwards. Displaying his erection thought his black pants.

"Oh uhh.. um.. so–"

"Its fine! I uh don't um.. the bathrooms right over there.." Dreams voice rasped out his throat. His voice is so fucking hot.

The thought of Dreams deepish voice moaning over his name, the thought of Dream graining pleasure from him. It only got him more worked up. They both stared into each others eyes, breathing becoming a lot more apparent.

Sapnaps eyes held embarrassment, humiliation. But Dream, oh Dreams eyes held so much lusy for the shorter male. 

It felt like an eternity of them staring and almost not blinking, but the gaze was broken when Dream pulled Sapnap into his lap. "Is.. are you alright with this?" His breath now close to Sapnaps neck, refusing to look up at him in complete embarrassment.

"Yeah.. yeah please I need it.." 

A sudden rush of confidence ran though the olders veins, and so he brought his face up to meet Sapnaps. Brown eyes full with pleads, he gave one last nodd and Dream connected their mouths. 

There was zero fight for dominance from Sapnaps side, Dream immediately took charge. Both mouths moved in sync, hot breaths from them both were heard. After a while of mindless kissing they soon had to disconnect and breath, Sapnap seemed to breath harder than Dream. Needing more air to catch up with him. 

Their foreheads rested together, both eyes looking lust fully at one another. 

Sapnap tilted his head back, obviously wanting something a bit more. So dream took the invitation and pampered his jaw lind with kissed and a sew sucks. Not wanting to mark up his jaw he trailed his tongue a bit further. 

A shiver was earned from the other male, but Dream needed to hear more.

So he started to suck down on Sapnaps neck, he didn't really know where his 'sweet spots' were. Leaving Dream to explore around, nibbling and sucking down. And at times he sucked a bit longer and harder to create a mark. 

A whimper escaped from Sapnaps body and this made Dream raise his eyebrow in interest. Going back to attack that area once more, then a small moan was heard making dream smile against the man's neck. Being ruthless around that area, making it become sensitive in moments.

"Mm–mh~"

Out of no where Sapnap grinded down onto Dreams hard on, "want more.." the voice was hushed and quite.

"Right then.."

Dream layed back in the chair, not really knowing where to put his hands he rested them on the side.

"Do what you want, ill be watching" He tilted his head down and his voice somehow became deep. 

"Wha?"

"You heard me, go on you ain't doin' any harm darling. Only if you want to of course" 

It took Sapnap a moment to comprehend that the man just said, his best fri— best friend? He didn't know at the moment, but what he knew was that he could have his way with him.

So he scrambled to get his pants and boxers off, tapping the others thigh to make him lift his hips up. Dream doing just that, soon enough he was left with only a hoodie. Same for Sapnap.

Once again, a deep put passion filled kiss was initiated. This time Dream snuck his tongue in his mouth, making sure to remind him who was boss here. Even if Sapnap was on top of him, he at any moment could pin Sapnap down to the bed a fuck his brain out senseless. 

Slowly, the man on his lap started to rock his hips. His dick moving against the others, he let out a noise that was more of a sigh. 

Sapnap moved Dreams hoodie a bit just so he could grind against him a little better. Sapnap took his hand and rubbed both their dicks together, with his hips rocking the pleasure only started to feel better. 

"Fuck dre– mh~!"

"Feelin good?"

The only response Sapnap gave was a moan the clawed out his throat, his hand jerking them both off faster. The tip of his cock started to leak as he rubbed against Dream size.

And finally, for fucks sake finally Dream let out the hottest groan. He let his head fall back against the chair, letting Sapnap do most the work.

"Oh fuckk" 

Sapnaps movements started to get out of rythem the more he went on. Signaling that he was close, Dream took it to himself to jerk them off faster. His hand reached for both their leaths, finding it easier since his hand was bigger.

Heavy breaths and moans filled the room, Dream letting out an occasional moan while Sapnap has his back arched and head thrown back. His hips stopped moving, letting dream touch him just like in his fantasies. 

"Dream! Fuck please! Mm, m close~" the texan slurred, eyes rolled back and his hands gripped Dreams shoulders. Dream let out a grunt, the suddenly Sapnaps hips bucked up. The pool of pleasure finally releasing from his stomach. His breath still heavy he looked down at the mess he created.

Then moved out of Dreams lap and sat down on the flooring. White strings of his own cum on his black hoodie, his tongue licked all of the white liquid that was on Dreams thigh. 

The one in the chair took his other hand and ran it though his hair, letting Sapnap take his dick in his mouth. 

Grip tighten slightly, his shoulders became less tense and let his back relax.

"Shit sap stop playing around.." He whined pathetic, begging for Sapnap to bob his head. A second later Sapnaps head went up and down smoothly. "You're taking me so– fuck! So well sap shit!"

The green hoodied man praised him, making the other male whimper around his dick. 

Sapnaps eyes looking directly up at him had another affect on him, his hands placed in between his legs. God his face looks so fuckable right now.

Drool started to leak down his chin and Dream shut his eyes tightly, him now starting to become more verbal. He started to feel himself getting closer, the cherry on top was when Sapnap swiftly flicked his tongue over the tip. 

He felt Dream get closer by the minute, so he quickly took Dreams dick out from his mouth the jerked him off. Making sure to keep his tongue out to catch the liquid.

And right on beat, "Fuck! I—" Dreams voice broke and he came all over Sapnaps face, most of it landing in or around this mouth.

He gave him a moment to come down from his high, and then swallowed all of the cum.

"Well.. this is awkward"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know of any spelling/grammar mistakes!
> 
> ..the shit i do so I dont have to write fluff


	18. 𝐇𝐞 𝐃𝐢𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐅𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐁𝐚𝐜𝐤

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Tommy didn't care anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuck canon this is a fanfic

Tw: Death, fighting, gore, manipulation, general angst  
Ships: no  
Request: no  
==========

3rd person pov:

February 20th, 2021

Tommy walked down to see Dream for one last time, one last time.

After that he promised himself closure. No more tormenting of his past manipulator and he'd finally be one step closer to letting go.

His heavy footsteps echoed through the empty hallway, Sam closely behind. Stepping on the platform, he moved across the lava slowly making sure he didn't look down. The closer he got the more he saw dream.

He looked.. happy to see him? Tommy couldn't tell anymore with him now being fully aware of his manipulation.

With all the procedures being over with, he slowly but surly got in Dreams cell. A sick smile played on Dreams body,

"Hi Tommy!"

February 23rd, 2021

The boy in red sat infront of the lava wall. He watched as the glowing substance flowed down majestically, "Tommy what are you doing?"

Its so pretty.. I need to get out of here

He didn't care for Dreams words. His mind was set on getting out of that damn box room, he'd do anything. 

I just want out..

Tommys face got dangerously close to the lava, letting its warmth radiate onto him.

February 23th, 2021

The 16 year olds face was scuffed up from being with Dream. His clothes were ripped when he got into arguments.

And still. The poor boy sat dangerously close to the lava, legs crossed and his eyes looked dead from not blinking.

Maybe if I..

Tommy picked up his left hand and put it inches away from the hot lava, but before his logical side of his head could protest. He stuck about an inch of his fingers into the lava.

If took him a few seconds to register what he had done, the a sudden scream of pain filled the obsidian room. 

Jerking his hand back his other hand held his wrist in pain. 

"Oh my go– Tommy what?!"

1 inch of his fingers were now lost.

February 25th, 2021

It didn't help at all that Tommy had long fingers. The more the days past the more he wanted to experience that feeling again, and still he convinced himself that if he reached farther enough.

He'd eventually get out. 

Poor Tommy was so mentally drained, becoming more and more insane by the minute. He just wanted go get out, maybe even see Sam Nook again. Take care of his hotel and maybe even pay someone a visit.

So it became so tempting to do it a second time. The boy hadn't slept in days and Dream seemed to be having the time of his life. 

Writing in book constantly seemed to fulfill his needs. 

Not Tommy, no never. 

He always needed some adventure, something to do. He could never see himself just sitting down and doing the same thing over and over again.

So again, Tommy took his left hand. Ready for it to enter the lava, as if it were going to grab his and pull him out.

But he stopped himself, and took his right hand then made a grabbing motion with both hands. Wasting no time he reached in, begging for something to let him out. 

Still nothing.

Blood dripped and stained his clothing. Arms that were already beaten had gotten a 'new accessory', in his words.

The only thing he gained form that was 3 inches of his fingers gone. 

February 28th, 2021

At this point Tommy only had small stubs for hands. Dream was absolutely horrified, everytime Tommy would do that he'd have to cover his ears and clench his eyes shut. 

Chunks of Tommy's long blond hair scattered his area of floor. Taking the time to rip them out right after he burned his hands. 

Now it seemed impossible to do. 

Tommy needed some new sort of relief of being trapped in there. But what?

Most all his options were taken, he couldn't do much without his hands. He desperately needed to forget that he was in the prison. His dry blood stained him, now it was turing a sick brown color. 

I want out I want out I want out I want out

He couldn't stand it anymore.

Tommy stood up, legs weak from malnutrition. Out of no where his body crashed into the wall, scaring Dream into looking up. 

Only to find that Tommy was beating himself into the purple wall.

March 1st, 2021

He and Dream had been fight that day. Harmful words were thrown around and no mercy was being held for either side.

Then Dream stood over Tommy holding the same gaze he had back in exile.

It made Tommy almost shrink in fear.

"Coward.. fucking coward!" The masked man spat, anger starting to spill more and more.

The brown haired man shoved Tommy into a wall, not softly no. You could hear a bone cracking. "The fuck is wrong with you.. you freak!"

Dream pushed Tommy down onto the floor, kicking the side of his ribs. Tommy.. oh Tommy didn't protest, he just layed there. Blinking every once or twice as Dream beat Tommy to a pulp.

Blue eyes looked up from the ground, tears filled them.

And Dream only looked down, no pity was given. No empathy or anything for the 16 year old. Dream picked up his foot and slammed his shoe into his face, not once or twice. Until his heart stopped beating in his chest.

Tommy? And Tommy didn't even struggle to get up or fight back, he just layed there and took it.

Red liquid splat everywhere. Pieces that once used to be attached to Tommyinnit's face layed next to him. A pulse no longer beated in his chest. 

A pathetic death. 

So long Theseus,

"If you want to be a hero, then die like one"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me now of any spelling/grammar mistakes!


	19. 𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐝

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Karl finally finds himself

Tw: Dysphoria I suppose, badly written, extremely rushed [im talking done in 10 minutes]  
Ship: Karl x Quackity x Sapnap  
[I don't know their ship name, sue me]  
Request: no  
==========

3rd person pov: 

It was logical to be frustrated over not knowing your pronouns, fuck it was tiring. 

Karl always knew he had some sort of disconnect from the standard, she/her and he/him everybody knows. Everything felt so wrong to him, it felt like he didn't belong. 

He tried to experiment with different sets of pronouns.

Most of the time it just upset him, so he just pushed away the problem. Going by he/him, and hating evey second. It was discomfort more than hatred, of course Karl still hated it. But it was more of a discomfort of not knowing anything about pronouns. 

The poor man felt obligated to know every aspect of being lgbtq+, he did have two beautiful boyfriends after all. So it confused him more than ever plus a new stress appeared.

What is Quackity and Sapnap don't like me for my new pronouns?

If Karl could repress that though he most definitely would. That was the last thing he wanted to be thinking about, the last. 

His journey of finding himself felt way too long to be real, trying different names and pronouns. Yet nothing stuck with him. 

They/them was first.

Karl found out about they/them and tried them, it didn't make them feel bad, no. It most definitely didn't make them.. them. But those stuck for a while, seeing that to them it was the closest they have ever gotten to finding himself. 

They didn't feel satisfied, they didn't feel the void fill in their heart. 

Yet they kept thoes. They even told their boyfriends, which were very supportive and made sure to use they/them. They nor disliked it or liked it. 

He/him was after.

Thoes were the ones he was trying so desperately to escape from. Every time someone used those he felt off, not like him. Made him want to crawl out of his skin, he despised thoes pronouns. 

But thoes were his 'default' ones, the ones where when you take a glance at him. He/him is what you first think off, so he most definitely couldn't stop others from using them. 

He hated it. 

He cried about it while the shower was running. Screamed at himself in the mirror when he was alone, for being born with thoes pronouns.

It made him want to bang his head against to wall out of frustration, out of agony. 

Karl didn't feel okay using he/him. Far from it. 

She/her was later on. 

She tried them briefly, she didn't like them. Whenever she would narrate the world around her, it didn't make her feel whole. So she was quick to discard thoes, knowing it didn't feel right at all.

==========

Karl layed on the couch, Quackity curled next to him watching the soap opera on the TV. Something about Telemundo and Caso Cerrado. 

Knowing that it was Quackitys favorite show, they kept quite and used head phones while scrolling though tik tok. 

Everything on their For You Page felt bland and boring, a couple things about minecraft here and there. They had to restrict themselves from rolling their eyes when something dumb popped up.

Ding!

SapDaddy sent a message.

Clicking on the notification on the screen, the messages app was open. Quackity laying un moving not caring for anything but the hand in his hair and the oddly entertaining show.

——•SapDaddy❤☝️•——

You both lookin fine as hell ;)  
4:37 pm 

One image attached  
4:37 pm 

Yea tell me something we don't know lol  
4:37 pm

Boom roasted  
4:37 pm 

——••——

They smiled at Sapnaps mannerisms, always such a way with words..

Continuing their scroll on tik tok. An unfamiliar type of video popped up almost making him scroll,

"What are it/its pronouns and how to use them!

It/its pronouns are like any other neopronoun, so using them really shouldn't be that difficult. 

Using something like,  
"It went to the grocery store and bought some eggs for the cake it is going to make for itself in honour of its birthday."  
Is good practice—"

The person kept on going. Karl watched the whole video through, then proceeded to scroll. Ignoring when their finger went on autopilot and double clicked the screen. Ignoring when is mind started to think constantly of it/its.

It/its 

It/its

It/its

A constant matching band played in their head, they couldn't shake it out. Brush it off or just ignore it all together. 

"I gotta get up.." Karl whispered to Quackity, making the man sit up and look over to Karl in concerned.

It/its 

Their legs made a run for it to the bathroom.

It/its

Feet clanking on the wooden floor rapidly, Sapnap peaked his head out the corner. 

It/its

Finally reaching their destination, they roughly opened the door and closed it being them.

It/its

Locking the door behind them, they took in a breath. Looking at themselves in the mirror 

"It/its" Damn did it feel real in the moment, everything sort of clicked in them. Their eyes studied their face, "It went to the grocery store and bought some eggs for the cake it is going to make for itself in honour of its birthday.." They recited the person words. 

"It's name is Karl.."

Tears weld up in Karls eyes, it felt way it right for it. Its void filled up, fuck it felt so good for it. 

"Karl?!"

"Babe?!"

"You alright in there?" 

Multiple shouts were heard behind the wooden door, not mad ones but concerned ones. It felt stressed, it didn't know if it found its pronouns. But it couldn't stop think about them, the way it made it feel was amazing.

They/them didn't feel the same. 

It shakily unlocked the door and let Sapnap and Quackity barge in, arms immediately wrapped around it. 

"Whats wrong babes..?" 

It looked up at their faces, it knew they would be accepting no matter what.

Karl took a deep breath, trying to calm itself down. It opened its mouth but closed it again, scared of the words that might not even be true. 

It didn't know if it was rushing the whole prosses, after all it had only said a sentence in the mirror not even 5 minutes ago. Karls pronouns would probably alter. 

But regardless it/its felt amazing, it make it feel discomfort or deep hatred. Karl felt whole, like it. 

"I.. I think I want to go by.. um- it/its" the last part was hushed and scared of judgment, a long silence was heard. But the smiles that crept on both its boyfriends were apparent.

"Thats great Karl!"

"Im so proud of you baby!" 

It was all too much for Karl to understand right away, all it knew that it was safe. No judgment was seen in sight.

Just hugs and a shit ton of kisses.

The actions might be silent but the emotions were so loud, they now found themselves curled up on the couch. Sapnap held to remote to the TV, Quackity snuggled up in between them both, and Karl felt relieved. At peace with itself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know of any spelling/grammar mistakes!


End file.
